Though I barely understand Him, I know that He is good.
More often than not, my view of God is closer to Him being a far-off mystery than Someone who is living in me. What even does that mean, to be living in me? If someone cut me open, would you see God flowing in my muscles, in my lungs, swirling around my heart? Probably not.
It must then be something else. Something I haven’t yet come to fathom. It must be that God is bigger and more fantastic than I imagine, not solely limited in the exact ways my mind is limited. Hmm. Shouldn’t that be obvious, that there is no rational way that YHWH Himself has the same limitations in His existence and power that my mind places on Him?
C.S. Lewis says something very profound in Letter IV of the Screwtape Letters – that the gap between the god in our mind and the God in reality can be bridged through the honest prayer directed toward: “Not to what I think thou art, but to what thou knowest thyself to be,”. A humbling and life-shattering prayer.
God has never been just what I see Him as. How do I know this?
The god in my mind is usually small. Far away. Judgmental and scrutinizing. Uninvolved except on rare occasions. Indifferent toward the prayers I direct at him.
But not always. There are moments of light that get more and more frequent. And I believe this is the Christian walk. Not a perfect road – straight, clear, flat, and with a crystal-clear view of everything that lies ahead. The Christian walk is one of constant growth, occasional confusion, and is altogether the greatest and most dramatic adventure in existence. The road lies on mountainous terrain, impossible to pass without the illumination of the Spirit granted to every one of us.
And that is the goodness of God. Though I barely understand Him, I know He is good:
Though we weren’t even necessary, He created us in His divine image. Unashamed love from the very start, y’all. (Genesis 1:27)
Though we became hostile and sinful, God still showed mercy and listened to His people, even agreeing to continue to reveal Himself to His people. This passage is so huge. (Exodus 33:12-34:10)
Though His people became apathetic and wanted to return to the slavery He had delivered them from, He gave and gave and gave good things to His wandering people. (Joshua 24:13-14)
Though His people endured exile and shame, He made a way to redeem their broken relationship by actively intervening in the lives of the rulers of the world. (Ezra 1:1-2)
Though His people feared that He had abandoned them to darkness, He remained a ruler over all things and remained firm in His authority. (Job 38:19-21) (Honestly, all of Job 38-42 is just a flooring passage.)
Though the fallenness in humanity has brought injustice across the world, God Himself promised to restore all things to peace and balance. (Isaiah 42:4)
Though we were defined by the slavery of sin and were walking in darkness, Jesus offered Life through His own life. (John 12:44-50)
Though we had not done a thing to bridge the gap between our brokenness and God’s perfection, Jesus became the bridge to redemption. No longer were we defined as orphans, but as children of God, receiving all the righteousness associated with that status. (John 14:18-21)
Though we fail to take God at His Word which says Jesus’ life is our own from the very moment we accept Him, we try to impress God with our own actions and righteousness. Instead of becoming angry, He reminds us in beautiful imagery that it is always Him that brings true Life in our lives. (John 15:4-5)
Though the post-resurrection church continues to fail to take God at His Word, He reminds us repeatedly that the Life and Spirit He has granted us is ALL that we need. It’s not our own goodness that brought eternal redemption, but His goodness. (Romans 8:9-11)
The entire course of history is a history of salvation. HE made us, HE gave grace upon grace while His people rebelled and strayed, HE made Himself in human form, HE became a teacher and a healer and a servant, HE gave up Himself to a cross created by the very people He would save with it, HE overcame death and in doing so defeated the darkness that bound His children, HE granted the Holy Spirit to be our ever-present guide, HE promises that we will be HIS forever and ever and ever and ever.
He is a good God. A lover of beauty, of adventure, of revelation, of family, of redemption, of justice, of all that reflects His perfect nature.
And this is all to say that He is so much more than we make Him out to be. This is exactly why I think the Christian walk is the most dramatic adventure in existence, as it is a lifetime full of moments where we discover who God truly is rather than what we’ve made Him out to be. We will discover that He is fierce and passionate and jealous, and He is also joyful and loving and a patient Father. We will discover that his ways are definitely not our ways, but they are so much better than ours. We will discover that apathy and stagnancy means a life apart from the Life He has granted us.
One day, I’ll believe everything He says about me. That I am His and my sins have been washed clean by the power of His own sacrifice. That He loved me enough then to die for me, and He still loves me to that same degree even when I don’t remember or acknowledge it. That His goodness, power, and love don’t change depending on my understanding of them. That true Life comes from believing Him. From loving Him. From worshiping Him. From seeking Him above all else.
Parting thought that I am asking myself and also encourage you to do the same –
Am I seeking to be more like Jesus, or am I seeking Jesus? Very similar phrases, but not at all similar in where they lead.
Remember what He said in John 15 – only when we are connected to Him, the Vine, can we bear fruit. Our goal is not to bear fruit alone, but to be connected to the Vine first. I find that when I have this backwards and become more fixated on developing fruit than being connected to the Vine, I become barren and self-conscious (a dangerous thing to be while Satan still has anything to say about it). But when I put things in their right order and become fixated on my connection with the Vine first and foremost, I then bear fruit automatically by being God-conscious (how we are meant to be, and if you don’t believe me, read 2 Corinthians 3:4-6, Colossians 3:1-3, Romans 8:6-12, Romans 6:11, John 17:22-24, and well, basically all of the Bible if we’re being honest.)
The goodness of God means that anyone who has received His life is now subject only to His goodness. Not that we won’t experience trouble in this world, as Jesus pointed out in John 16:33, but we will only ever truly belong to a God that is much bigger and better than we can imagine.
-Haley
Soundtrack of a Blog:
26. Dimensions by Jess Ray
That’s the only one for today. Please put it on repeat 1000000 times, I promise it’s worth it.