From what I’ve experienced of track competitions throughout my schooling (Bailey stop laughing), I know that the last stretch of a race is the most crucial part, as well as the time where you push through with everything you have until you cross the finish line. Now that I’ve entered my final stretch, I’m finding the days a little bit difficult to get through. I think that because I’m close to the end, I’m getting so excited about seeing my family and friends again that the homesickness has really been setting in. I’ve never been out of the country for more than two weeks at a time, or even been away from my parents for more than two weeks at a time. As I come into the last week or so of my time in Uganda, I want to really appreciate everything that I am seeing and doing, but it gets hard when the only way to see my mother’s face is to watch a video I have of her on my phone over and over. It’s of her being silly and dancing in the kitchen, just being herself. It makes me laugh when I watch it, but I get so sad afterwards when I think about the distance between us. Sometimes ten days seems like forever.
So I’ve been spending a lot of time praying lately. I’ve been asking God to protect my mind against attacks that might make me discouraged about all of this. I’ve been asking for energy and genuine enthusiasm about everything that I am doing here. I’m asking that I will remember all day of every day to take this time as an opportunity to allow myself to be shaped and molded into a faithful servant of Christ who can completely trust Him to control every aspect of my life.
I want to live out the lines of the songs that I sing at church. One song in particular has been my mantra for this entire trip. The song itself is beautiful, but the lyrics are so so powerful, especially when I’m in the midst of a situation that calls for this kind of faith.
Overwhelm Me (sung by Riley Erin)
Lead me further into You, into the unknown.
Far beyond what I now see, that’s where I want to go.
I abandon everything, as deep calls out to deep.
I want to be lost, I want to be lost in You
Overwhelm me
I want to be lost, I want to be lost in You
Overwhelm me.
Take me higher
Take me deeper
Seeing Your glory, hearing Your whisper.
And I want to be lost, I want to be lost in You.
Show Your beauty, show Your strength in this holy place.
Let it be like gravity that I can’t escape
Till my life has been transformed, and my heart is one with Yours.
I want to be lost, I want to be lost in You
Overwhelm me
I want to be lost, I want to be lost in You
Overwhelm me.
Take me higher
Take me deeper
Seeing Your glory, hearing Your whisper.
And I want to be lost, I want to be lost in You.
Let the things of earth be swept away.
Draw me close till only You remain.
Oh let the things of earth be swept away.
Draw me close till only You remain.
Singing about total surrender is easy. Living it out is much harder. My prayers to the Lord can be basically summed up through these lyrics. Maybe some might speak to you as well.
This song is beautifully written. The words strike deep chords within me, and they challenge me to really live like that. Especially the second verse and the bridge, just UGH. WOW. Seriously, sometimes I think certain songs were written for my specific situation.
My biggest encouragement is that even in my times of weakness, God won’t turn away from my or resent me for my failures. In these times, He is just as loving as ever. His love isn’t threatened by my broken pieces. We can all rest in the fact that unconditional love is just that – unconditional. Even when I’m thousands of miles from home, I have a constant anchor that can give me those little pushes from behind to finish with joy and full enthusiasm.
{Haley}